Merry Non-Denominational Solsticeday
Just kidding everybuggy, I’m not a communist so I’ll say it the traditional way . . .
And yes, my timing’s a little off, but Happy Hanukkah, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Omisoka, and Saturnalia as well, and of course, let’s not forget the colorful Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe, either.
These holidays, though, they just keep happening don’t they?
And each year, you surely get peppered with obnoxious questions from your kinfolk, like . . .
- “Why aren’t you married?”
- “Bulking this winter, eh?”
- “When are you getting a real job?”
- “You seriously aren’t going to eat any meat?”
- “How can you live there?”
The list yammers on.
But hey, things could be worse.
It beats hiding out in the nuclear badlands of the future searching for irradiated crickets to eat as the eyeless cannibal hordes hunt us for our precious meat.
And let’s not forget—half the time the people asking actually just love and miss us and wish we were around more because they know they won’t be around forever.
Mmmmm, sentimental syrup . . .
Anyhoo, I just want to wish you plenty of holiday cheer as we get ready to strap into 2020, which I hope will bring you glorious new personal records inside and outside of the gym.
And to help you get off on the right foot, here’s a quote from a book everyone should read, The Magic of Thinking Big:
Belief, the “I’m-positive-I-can” attitude, generates the power, skill, and energy needed to do. When you believe I-can-do-it, the how-to-do-it develops.
For my part, 2019 was yet another banner year for Legion, with highest-ever sales, profits, new customers, and brand awareness.
None of that would’ve been possible without the support of people like you, so, I’ll say again what can never be said enough:
You and me, though, us, we’re just getting started because ho ho ho believe you me, my droogs and I have a whole heaping stack of irons in the firepot, including . . .
- Male and female versions of our multivitamin Triumph, with new-and-improved formulations specifically designed to benefit the unique physiologies of men and women.
- Beautiful new branding for the whole company, including the logo and packaging, and it’s going to look a whole lot more premium and gender-neutral.
- An immunity booster that improves the immune system’s ability to find and eliminate pathogens, impairs the function of harmful bacteria and viruses, and enhances mood and well-being when sick.
- An all-new second edition of my book for intermediate weightlifters, Beyond Bigger Leaner Stronger, that’ll be absolutely best-in-class—the last fitness book most guys will ever need to read, I dare say.
- A sleek and sexy new “2.0” version of my workout app Stacked, which will not only be a quantum leap in terms of design, functionality, and user experience but also 100% free.
- New enhanced formulations for some of our most popular products, including Phoenix, Fortify, Genesis, and Ascend.
- Not one but two gut health products, including a unique non-bacterial formulation with berberine, artichoke, and UDCA (and more), as well as a bacterial (probiotic) product with some of the most researched and effective strains available.
- Legion’s first-ever appearance at the Arnold, and yes, yours grateful will be there in the flesh and pressing the flesh, along with some of our star athletes and ambassadors.
And no, my butterball, that’s not all, either—there’s even more ruckus in the works.
But that’s enough for now because my third cousin or something wants to explain to me why the earth is flat and Greenland doesn’t exist.
P.S. Oh and I promised I’d share exactly how much money we raised for Toys for Tots during Charity Week, and I’m thrilled to announce the result:
Those funds are going to make a real difference in the lives of underprivileged children and their families, and if you purchased anything in our store during Charity Week, you contributed to that, so THANK YOU!
We’ve already started looking at candidates for the next Charity Week, which will kick off in a few months, so if you have any suggestions, please do share.
Thanks again for helping us make this a success!
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